Combating Microaggressions
“No, where are you really from?”
We’ve all heard them before. The subtlest statements that continue to perpetuate the implicit biases we have towards people, based on their ethnicity, sexuality, etc.
So then, what’s the best way to combat this and prevent it from happening? First, let’s start with the basics.
What are Microaggressions?
Microaggressions — “the everyday slights, indignities, put-downs, and insults that people of color, women, LGBT populations, or those who are marginalized experiences in their day-to-day interactions with people.”
There are three types of microaggressions:
- Microassaults — the most overt form of microaggression where one blatantly behaves in discriminatory ways unintentionally (ex. saying “that’s so gay!”)
- Microinsults — statements or behaviors in which individuals unintentionally communicate discriminatory messages to members of target groups (ex. telling an Asian-American they speak good English when that’s their first language)
- Microinvalidations — statements that deny, negate, or undermine the realities of members of various target groups (ex. calling a woman “oversensitive”)
3 Steps to Addressing Microaggressions
1. Learn to identify microaggressions.
When reading examples of microaggressions and looking at it from an outsider’s point of view, it’s easy to identify them and realize they’re wrong.
However, when you’re actually faced with the situation, especially when it’s from someone you know, this becomes much harder. Remember, these are subtle comments of discrimination. They’re not meant to be overt and flagrant.
That’s why many people’s first reactions to microaggressions are to question whether or not that even was one. Asking yourself things like, “Did I hear that correctly?” or “Did that really just happen?” News flash—chances are it was a microaggression.
Understanding and recognizing when you’re being discriminated against instead of pretending as if nothing happened is the first step to combating it.
2. Decide how to respond.
Microaggressions are terrible, and we shouldn’t tolerate them. But that doesn’t mean lashing out and attacking the offender is always the best response. Here are five questions to consider:
- If I respond, could my physical safety be in danger?
- If I respond, will the person become defensive? Will this lead to an argument?
- If I respond, how will this affect my relationship with this person (e.g., co-worker, family member, etc.)
- If I don’t respond, will I regret not saying something?
- If I don’t respond, does that convey that I accept the behavior or statement?
Remember, your physical safety is of utmost importance. Correcting a random guy on the street versus correcting your classmate are two very different scenarios.
If you do choose to respond, aim to educate the person and have a discussion with them. Try to avoid attacking them, like calling them a racist, since it’ll probably lead them to become defensive and no effective dialogue will take place.
Instead, focus on talking about how you felt and addressing the perpetrator’s behavior. You can say things like:
- “I know you didn’t mean it, but that comment was racially charged and offensive because ___. ”
- “I felt ___ when you said that.”
- “Instead, you could have said ___.”
Hopefully, calmly educating them will help solve the problem. But sometimes it doesn’t, and they still don’t change their ways. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.
But the important part isn’t the perpetrator’s actions — it’s your mental and physical well-being.
3. Seek self-care and support.
Microaggressions hurt, and they can take their toll on a person. In a 2014 research study, it’s been found that those who encountered more microaggressions reported “higher levels of depression and lower levels of positive emotions.”
Think about it — it’s part of the reason why people of color suffer from heart disease and stroke at far younger ages and higher rates than white people.
“Experiencing this kind of discrimination prematurely ages the body. And that’s a pretty scary concept.”
— Roberto Montenegro, Chief Fellow in adolescent psychiatry at Seattle Children’s Hospital
That’s why it’s incredibly important that you prioritize your mental health first and foremost. Do whatever it is you need to do: talk to friends, watch a movie, read a book, etc. If it makes you feel better, do it. You absolutely deserve it!
How to Help Those Battling Microaggressions
“A lot of people hear ‘microaggressions’ and they think, ‘Oh, it’s just the little things that hurt people’s feelings.’ It isn’t about having your feelings hurt. It’s about how being repeatedly dismissed and alienated and insulted and invalidated reinforces the differences in power and privilege, and how this perpetuates racism and discrimination.”
— Roberto Montenegro, Chief Fellow in adolescent psychiatry at Seattle Children’s Hospital
Everyone has committed microaggressions at least once in their lives. Whether or not you’re aware of it is a different question. That’s why it’s important to be aware of what you say. If you did say something offensive, take responsibility! Apologize and learn from your mistake.
And if you witness a microaggression taking place, be sure to check in with the victim and make sure they’re alright. Ask them if they need anything or offer to do something fun together.
We can’t change everyone’s minds. But what we can do is support each other, educate others, and work to stop the wave of subtle racism.
Key Takeaways
- Microaggressions are the everyday slights, indignities, put-downs, and insults that marginalized communities face every day. They’re often unintentional, and perpetrators don’t understand how their words were offensive.
- Decide how to respond based on the situation and your values. Will you be placed in danger? Will you regret not saying anything? How will your relationship with this person change?
- Regardless of how you responded, seek self-care and support afterward. Your mental and physical health comes first!
